Sunday, June 8, 2014

adolescents with issues of gender and sexual disorientation disorientation

One of the cases that we handle a lot of the last ten years is a teenager with issues of gender and sexual disorientation disorientation. This time let me share about some cases of sexual disorientation in adolescents.

Case 1

Verra (pseudonym) a level 2 student, a sweet-looking, consultation turmoil about his relationship with Rinny. Both Indonesian students who study in America. Initially just a good friendship, because Rinny very warm and friendly.

Originally Verra feel lonely when newly arrived in America. Verra had locked himself in his apartment, in addition to lectures. He keeps the bitterness in his father forced him to break up with a guy who he loved so much. In the middle of that situation won her Rinny. Attention, sacrifice, willingness Rinny be a place to vent, very touching Verra.

Originally Verra not know that Rinny lesbian. But when Rinny start making out invites, Verra could not resist, even though his heart felt something odd. Eventually, Verra enjoy it.

Case 2

Samson 20 years (pseudonym). One of his brothers were sent to counseling because he did similar relationship with Allex (22 yrs). Samson, came from a relatively harmonious. Samson is very loved papa, mama and her two sisters. He was the youngest and the only boy.

According to Samson, there is no intention of doing similar relationship with Allex. Only he was taken aback when he first migrated. She felt very lonely. Usually he is familiar joking with his brother, still dikeloni Mama before bedtime, dimanjain daddy as the only son. Suddenly all was lost. Hospital, said Samson. I really miss the touch and attention.

Until one day Allex, sister and friend level boarding house, likes to invite him to chat while lying diranjangnya. At first just a chat. Eventually Allex began groping her private parts. Samson was strange, but he refused bad, because during this Allex who understand their needs. Samson also thought, yet there is no danger. Over time, he enjoyed until that relationship even further.

Case 3

Tonny 16 years (pseudonym), a class of high school students. He grew up in a broken-home. His father likes to hit hard and Tonny. His own mother ignored because it is so busy with the business. Relatively rare Tonny papa mama at home. Not to mention his parents quarreling fiercely in front of Tony.

The friends of Tony likes to play house. Incidentally Tonny big house, and he lived in a separate part of the house from her parents. Tony and his so free to do anything. It's been 3 years, since I was a junior Tony frequent masturbation.

One day his friend offered to help Tony to masturbate. The initial goal was just playing around. But Tony finally enjoy the game, and without realizing it is too far in similar relationships.

Similar reasons Teens Trying Relations

Of the three cases above, there are some reasons teens fall in similar relationships

First, hidden anger to hatred to the father who does not teselesaikan. That Being doors Verra withdrawn. Until one day there was a college friend, both from Indonesia, attention and genuine love. According to Verra, under his conscious he was familiar with his female friend to avenge the hurt on his father. Because his father had forced him to break with the guy hero. Verra and Rinny relationship stronger both physically and emotionally. They are already planning a same-sex marriage over the objections of their parents. But it seems the road is still dark.

Second, the case of Samson. Excessive emotional attachment relationships with parents and her brother Samson Makes less skilled tend to get along. Comfort zone at home, making samson awkward at school and on campus. He was a friend in college hostile, often taunting him as a child mommy. Less slang, etc. weird. Samson is not ready to split up and wander. As a result, when the friend kostnya attention, for he was very unusual. It Creates a sense of obligation. Samson finally could not resist when his best friend who is a Gay Allex sex invite.

Third, Tonny case. Abusive father indifferent mother make poor Tonny emotionally. Tonny escape from discomfort to parents by way of enclosed rooms. Since he knew pornography, he increasingly unable to contain his desire always masturbation. Jock friends are also the same. Bad company, has brought Tony into the kind of relationship.

Most of them have the tendency early on, like the same sex. Like the case of some clients that camp since 3 SD had a tendency to feel it. There is a regard (sure) is genetic and difficult to change. For groups who think so, are usually more difficult to help.

Others, however, there are similar relations for trapped situation and friendship is wrong. For this group as Verra, Samson and Tony, actually there is a way in to change. This can be done with family counseling approach. Recovery of a sick family system to personal rapprochement parents and children. But it is difficult to change is the parents. But once again this is not an easy process, there is a long hallway that must be followed

Others there were only orientation course but did not actively. Commonly called a passive homosexual (latent). Fantasy sex with the opposite sex they are not, but are interested in similar.

Some obstacles

1. Clients do not want to open on her parents. Feeling scared etc..

2. Parents do not want to open for consultation, because they feel embarrassed and considers it a disgrace the family.

3. Low public acceptance of those who have similar sexual orientation. This makes them feel comfortable only if it is in their own communities.

4. Attitude clergy and dogma or doctrine that tends not to judge, but it does not provide any solution to their problems. Thus making them good teachings was no power to change them.

Indeed, many more cases around us. Acceptance of gays and lesbians also had reached the world level, the United Nations. In some European countries and the USA also legalized. It is not yet accepted in our country.

I myself can understand and accept, and hang out with some of my friends who have same-sex orientation. Some of them are even friends are warm, friendly, kind, and succeed in their careers. There are even active help our seminars, while assisting those who want to change.


Our clients generally come to counseling feeling guilty. Longs helped to get out of that situation. It's just not a simple process to recovery. Therefore the best solution is: I ask, prevention is better than cure.

In the experience as a therapist, helped some of our clients because of the acceptance of family, community support and therapy (counseling) intensive. Although sexual orientation is no "rest" for life, but their behavior changed. They won.